Monday, 30 March 2009

27

3^3
3*3*3

My favourite number is 3.
Obviously since it is 30 of 3.
And now I have multiples of it.

NICE....

I LOVE IT....

Happy Birthday Me.

Hopefully I will have many more happy ones to come.

Thursday, 26 March 2009

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

It is a great film. I was watching it while finishing one sub-chapter (Thankfully it is finished). Seriously, the drama is liberating. Children are colour-blind, label-blind and so many blindness that makes them see the world differently and interesting. Everything would seem possible. A beautiful friendship that ends tragically.

Bruno asked his teacher, is Jew a person since the teacher was referring to Jew as so many bad things, as if it was a singular being that is to be blamed for all the bad things a person can be. When his sister explained that Jew is a group of people, Bruno asked again I'm sure there are good Jews (him being an explorer of the age of eight understood that everything and everyone is unique and different should not and would not be generalised into a certain group that shares all the same bad traits. His teacher than commented "if you can find one, then you're a very good explorer". Indeed he was, not only he found one, he died as one.

The war propaganda kills millions of people. Most of them innocent. The only thing that separated them from the ones who survived were probably the strength of their beliefs and their lack of physical strength which can easily be outnumbered by the weapons used in these wars. A simple act of having a mass shower turned into a mass murder, when the Nazi soldiers created a crematorium that looks like a shower room.

We are all different and we are all the same. Same rights, same value.




Friday, 20 March 2009

Uninvited


Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you're unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate


Alanis Morissette

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Politicians are like the WWF wrestlers

On screen, they appear to hate each other and wanting to kill one another. But behind the screen, they eat and sleep together and most importantly bond like twins. I was watching this documentary called "The Obama Deception" - and after five minutes into it (the whole documentary lasts for 113 minutes), I realise how I have only seen and believed the one side of the coin.

Yes, it may seem like I like Obama - the change he represents, the hope he is bringing to the world. All that could easily camouflaging the whole ugliness that people just do not want to see and prefer to ignore and continue living in denial. Because in the world of denial, hope of the impossible virtue over ugly truths. And when the truth hurts, you want to know there is hope. Even for the impossible, because there can be miracles when you believe.

Obama the ultimate puppet to the world!! It's scary to know who are the puppeteers. Is it a new era of change for the betterment? Or are we all being headed to doom??

Quoting my hot girlfriend (whom I missed so dearly), "wrestlers are actors". Just like politicians - they say what they know we want to hear, they are playing the part set by the puppeteers - most importantly creating policies that benefit the puppeteers.The people would benefit under such policies as long as it serve a much bigger portion to the puppeteers. There are instances, that policies made not to supplement the puppeteers but close some mouths, even so politicians would still find ways to give benefits to the puppeteers under such policies. A whole bunch of sweet-talkers. They all live in the notion of "the things you don't know won't hurt you".

Reminding me of my conversation with Nurul and Ezra last year on lobbyists, how the world is actually run by lobbyists. People who are really smart at manipulating situations and words to set a certain psychological state within the people at large.

I'm still waiting for the day when there is an actual policy on transparency, the show and tell policy. To properly educate people of what is truly going on. Honesty is just a word to satisfy what we want to hear.

Monday, 16 March 2009

More Pictures for the Surprise Birthday Bash












Thanks to Abang Lan the photographer for the night.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

Surprise Birthday Party

Well, it has been a very painful week. I was down with migraine for most days of the week. Lack or iron and of course the beautiful sun is to be blamed and of course myself for still eating cheese and some chocolate (hot chocolate). I was not able to finish my proposal by Friday, down with painful period pain on Wednesday. One sick week I have to say.

Then all my energy to get better come on Saturday. Me, Syura and Wan was planning since last week to eat Malaysian food and the Malaysian School in Cheetam Hill. So we woke up early (yeah before 10 am on Saturday morning is early), got ready and went to Cheetam Hill. We got lost a bit and ended up at the school past 12 pm. All the stalls were already closing except for one, we manages to buy and eat Mee Rebus and Nasi Hujan Panas with Ayam Masak Merah. Fantastic. Worth the trouble. Definitely would go back there.

Then since we were already in town (to get from my place in Rusholme to Cheetam Hill, we need to change busses at Piccadily Garden) we went to Arndale Shopping Centre of course for no other reason that to shop. We bought a few things but somehow even though it was not so sunny, I was having migraine again. So the girls were really sweet taking care of me. I managed to buy some socks and belts (my birthday wishlist - Black and Red Belts). And we made our way home.

At home we were so excited about getting ready for our housemate dinner; we were all dressed up because we were going to a really fancy restaurant in Rusholme - Shere Khan. When we arrived there, there were more people that I thought it would be, I knew something was up about 2 weeks ago, but the turnout was seriously a surprise. The girls seriously took the trouble to make sure I didn't find out. It was really sweet.

Beautiful Birthday cake, wonderful candles and of course the present to live for (yeah people say something to die for, but to me this is definitely something to life for). I feel really blessed and loved to be surrounded by wonderful people. I love you all. Thank you so much.

27th Birthday Surprise

My Housemates and friends made it all possible

Me and Wan (my MRSMKT Junior) - Latest Housemate

Me and Jannah - The youngest Housemate - a Doctor to be

Me and Kak Wa - Kakak of the House

Me and Syura

Me and Kak Bibi & Thaqif (Ex-housemate)

Me and B (A must have picture)

Me, Jannah and Zaid (with Abang Lan in the Background)

Single Ladies - Wan, Syura and Me

Presenting the wonderful Present

I fell INLOVE with it the moment I saw it.

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Women's Day vow to fight violence

Women's Day vow to fight violence
Story from BBC NEWS:
2009/03/08

Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon has marked International Women's Day by vowing to tackle the "scourge" of domestic abuse.

The day is marked around the world on 8 March and this year it is focusing on violence against women.

Ms Sturgeon said Scottish ministers had committed £44m to tackle the problem.

Scots Tory leader Annabel Goldie said family should be "on the top of the agenda". Labour's deputy leader Harriet Harman attacked the gender pay gap.

The comments came as politicians marked the day, which is observed by the United Nations, at a series of events.

'Heart of society'

Ms Sturgeon said: "Sadly, violence is part of too many women's lives across the world.

"On this day and throughout the year the Scottish Government is determined to tackle the scourge of violence against women and children."

Ms Goldie drew on the case of Brandon Muir, the Dundee toddler who was killed by his mother's boyfriend.

"I want today to call on my fellow political leaders in Scotland - let's put family back at the top of the agenda, let's have the debate about how we put family back at the heart of society and how we support the family," she said.

Ms Harman told delegates at Scottish Labour's annual conference in Dundee that bank bosses topped the list of treating female employees unfairly.

She said: "The gender pay gap in financial services is worse than in most other sectors."


This has been a problem since so long ago not just in Scotland, but obviously everywhere in the world. Domestic Abuse/Violence was a topic I discussed in the past. And now it has been taken to a new red carpet light. What happened to Rihanna is a story sadly many women can relate to. It is not uncommon for those who have been abused to return back to their abusers. I myself am still trying to understand why. Hopefully after finishing my work, I can actually open my Abnormal Psychology and read up on it and of course share it with all of you.

Every morning when I wake up, I would read the highlights in NST and the Star. And most of the time there would be stories of Domestic Violence. I guess it is getting worse in the economy, my freakonomics theory - the stress and pressure of the financial strain are taking the best out of people; resulting in them releasing those stress and pressure on others (or in some cases, the aftermath of the releasing of stress and pressure through medication and drugs).

Baby dies after being tossed onto mattress
By BERNAMA 2009/03/09

A four-month-old baby girl died yesterday after she was believed to have been thrown onto a mattress at home in Sungai Ara, here. The father, 35, a plumber, was said to have been angered by the baby's incessant cry and threw her onto the mattress.

South-west district police chief, Supt Hatta Mohd Zain said the man and his wife, 30, claimed they rushed their daughter to the Penang Hospital about 4pm when the baby became unconscious.

"After examining the baby, the doctor certified her dead," he said.

Hatta said the doctor found bruises and injuries on the baby's face, believed to be caused by pinching, as well as scratches on the ears and a bruise on her forehead.

"The father is remanded for six days to help in the police investigation, and a urine test found him positive with heroin," he added. -- BERNAMA
© Copyright 2009 The New Straits Times Press (M) Berhad. All rights reserved.


Or is it the lack of psychological support during Sex Education

Father sodomises daughter, brother molests sisters
By Lee Shi-Ian 2009/03/07

KLANG, Sat: A man sodomised his seven-year-old daughter last week, while, in another case, a brother forced his younger sister to perform oral sex. A doctor at the Tengku Ampuan Rahimah Hospital lodged a police report on Thursday after a rectal examination on a seven-year-old girl revealed numerous tears in her anus.

The girl, a Standard One pupil from Rantau Panjang, Klang, had been taken to the hospital after complaining of pain in her anus.

A police source said: “The doctor was initially reluctant to release the victim back into her mother’s care but had no choice.”

Following the report, a second medical examination was conducted on the victim and the results were conclusive, indicating that she had been sodomised.

It is learnt that the victim’s father, a lorry driver aged 47, has since gone into hiding.

In the second incident, a 19-year-old man is being sought by police after he is said to have sexually assaulted both his younger sisters on Wednesday at their home in Taman Seri Putra, Banting.

The suspect is said to have pulled his sisters, aged 11 and 8, into the bedroom, while their parents were away. He allegedly pushed the 11-year-old girl onto the bed and kissed her.

The suspect is then said to have dragged both girls into the toilet where he ordered the younger girl to perform oral sex on him.

He then warned the girls to keep quiet about the incident. However, the elder girl told her mother what happened when she returned home.

The mother lodged a report at the Banting police station. It is understood that a similar incident had occurred in the past when the family lived in Kelantan.

However, at that time, the mother did not believe her daughter. Medical examinations indicated neither of the girls had been raped.

Selangor CID chief Senior Assistant Commissioner II Hasnan Hassan said police were looking for the two suspects.
© Copyright 2009 The New Straits Times Press (M) Berhad. All rights reserved.

These are all for now, we will regroupd and discuss about it after I finish these things on my table (more like my my bed, pillows and totally half my room floor)
  • PhD Proposal
  • MSc Dissertation (Due on the 20th April 2009)
  • Article Submission (Due on the 30th May 2009)
  • Research with MMU & UNIMAS (The whole month of May)
*I guess my supervisor is right after all, I am a workaholic and AA is right I am a geek.

Monday, 9 March 2009

One down, One more to go

I learnt quite a bit during my interview just now. Apparently I don't sell myself enough. I am not confident is claiming how big and important my research is. I guess they're right. Somehow I see this as a gender problem. Or maybe it is just my self-esteem. I should read my confidence building booklet again and remind myself the things I have done and should be proud of.

One thing for sure, I am proud of myself for knowing what I want and have the courage to break up with him. I have always thought of myself as someone who would take the low road and 'settle' at 'closing time'. Meaning when in a bar and it is almost closing time, I would just grab the last man standing just so that I would not be alone that night. But I'm glad that I am not that person, I still have enough courage and determination to stick to what I believed in. Insyallah. By the way, that 'closing time' term I got from watching too much Desperate Housewives.

Well, in all that fuss about me and my lack of confidence to state the obvious, my supervisor was expressing how he was worried that I am not taking care of myself and how I am a workaholic (he got the impression from the number of journals and books that I have read - which may be true but not so much accurate). I assured him that I do have fun times. And I told him about my Saturday watching Football matches - KUSMA's Piala Perantau. Yes, hot boys. Well I can't really say men since most of the players were still boys. Still it was great!!! I enjoyed myself tremendously. I would attached some pictures of me and the players as soon as the photographer uploads the photos on Facebook.

And for some reason today, I have been deliriously happy and have been checking out guys all the way from home to work and back. Well, I'm still happy. Tomorrow I'm going to check out guys in the library. Wish me luck people.

BTW, I miss my BFF Zul.

Friday, 6 March 2009

Highlights of the week

Well, enough with the heartbreaking thing already. Not that it was that heart breaking anyway. I didn't cry or anything. Found so many important things to deal with and most importantly to put my energy, focus and efforts on - yeah investing in myself, emotionally, mentally and definitely physically. Lost a little weight this week. Getting to my Beyonce's resolution pretty nicely.

I get to know some new guys. Intelligent guys. But not all are interested to know what I have to say about the world. But yesterday's conversation was good enough. I would put that as one of the highlight. I seriously appreciate bright minds and definitely great conversations with the opposite sex. That is seriously lacking these days if you count out my supervisor and my dad.

And of course getting my work (of the second chapter) acknowledged and appreciated is definitely a turning point for a lousy week last week. But it's fine. I am seriously taking this new month in a more positive light and stride confidently to achieve more greatness.

Currently in the midst of preparing my PhD proposal. Which thanks to T who have been brainstorming with me, we managed to put things together and hopefully write a meaningful proposal. And most importantly hoping that it would help me get accepted both by MMU and the sponsoring Uni.

Yes, it has been a roller coaster month, twist of fate. One week deliriously happy in a relationship, the next breaking up. All in a matter of one day that changed it all. Yeah watching "He's just not that into you" definitely opened my eyes. Well, I'm really happy with the progress I'm making. I am definitely seeing the lights (yes, plural) coming through to shine my way. I'm not in the dark anymore. Definitely growing up.

So wish me luck, I have an interview with MMU on Monday pertaining my application for PhD here and on my birthday an interview with the sponsoring Uni for the sponsorship. Hopefully everything will go well. Insyallah.

Thursday, 5 March 2009

Kata-kata Hikmat

Kalau sakit mata, kita pergi jumpa doktor mata tengok2 nak kene pakai cermin mata ke or simply to get some eye drops.
Kalau sakit telinga or hidung or tekak or anak berakan die yang ade kaitan kat saluran tue, pergi lah jumpa specialist ENT.
Kalau demam poyo2 jumpa lah GP.
Basically setiap bahagian yang sakit tue adelah doktor pakar tersendiri.

Tapikan kalau kite sedih yang berpanjangan kenape susah sangat nak mengaku kat orang and lagi lah susah nak pergi cari counselling or jumpa shrink??

Tak penting ke mental health nie? Even shrinks pun ade shrinks masing2 ni.... Kalau kite kehilangan somebody tak kisah lah sebab meninggal ke ditinggalkan ke.... I'm sure that feeling of lost akan effect kite punye emotion ... just because people would think it's too sissy to talk about it does not mean the pain is going to go away kan. Kalau kawan2 tak nak dengar... cari lah orang yang sudi nak mendengar (obviously after di bayar)....

Seriously, mental health tue lagi penting dari yang lain. Sebab its supports our optimism, rationality, and overall wellbeing and livelihood lah.... Sebab kalau kite jaga kite punye emotion, jangan bagi die terlalu marah, terlalu sedih, ape2 yang terlalu lah... we will continously and subsequently take care of our rationality to take care of our health for all other parts of the body... so actually lagi sihat lah.... takdelah jadi kes... depress tak tentu pasal sampai tak makan or tak tidur.... or in my case makan terlalu banyak.... tapi kawan i ajar semalam.. kalau nak makan... makan jer carrot banyak2... sure tak rase berdosa... bagus rationale die tue....

Pastukan kenape orang rase kalau kite kawan dengan orang yang orang lain label kan gila kita akan jadi gila? Bukannye penyakit berjangkit melalui udara ni... ???? Kite yang rational (atau perasan rational) fikir lah pangkal ujung cerita orang gila tue... tak payah lah nak ikut die terlompat2 pulak.....(unless orang giler tue aku lah... bagusjugak kau nak lompat... ade jugak aku kawan) tapi kadang2 cerita2 diorang tue ade betulnya... kite jer terlalu ego tak nak dengar or mengaku yang dalam kegilaan diorang... ade facts yang wise and sane....

tuelah yang penting... ape2 pun yang kite rase... jangan simpan sorang2... bahaya.... baik cakap kat someone... tak kisah lah sape... boyfren/husband/BFF/ strangers pun boleh.... sometimes interactions between individuals helps us understand ourselves better.... No man is an island... always remember that.... kalau kawan2 kite semua pun depress sebab takde boyfren... .carilah kawan yang happy giler sebab baru single.... by the way.. tak payahlah nak depress2 takde boyfren nie.... boyfren jer... still tak payah lah nak depress2 takde laki..... channel your energy into recreating yourself so that you'd achieve your self confidence lah....

by the way, kalau kite ditakdirkan memang takde laki.... its ok lah... we stay together.. we'll be each other's support system and rock.... kalau nak anak... ramai jer yang kat rumah anak yatim tu... ala yang di buang2 pun ramai.... ambiklah sorang dua.... pastu kalau dah tua kite pakat ramai2 register kat rumah orang tua.. pastu kite duduk lah kat situ main uno, dan ketawa2 sebab kene tipu oleh caretakers sebab kite dah nyanyuk.....

Would life be so bad without a guy?? I seriously would not want to think so. its not the end of the world.... banyak lagi purpose kite yang perlu kite fikirkan and fulfillkan.... so tak payahlah sedih2 sebab baru sedar dah masuk late 20s and still single.... chillex babe... Allah tue maha berkuasa.... Die MAha mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kite.... rajin2lah berdoa dan bertawakkal.....mudah2an dapat jodoh yang baik yang akan membawa kite dan keluarga ke jalan Allah dan seterusnya ke Syurga Allah.... Insyallah... Amiin....

Takkan kau nak ngap jer mane2 lelaki yang datang just because kau takut hidup sorang??? itu dah tak rational dah tue... kite kene check lah asal usul latar belakang die, beriman ke tidak, berilmu ke tidak, dan yang penting solat cukup ke tidak.... adakah die mampu mensupport mentality kau yang gile2 and kadang2 pervert tue.... kalau ok... try test lah tengok... sesuai ke tidak.... kalau tak serasi.... cuba lagi... discuss and be honest with what you want from the relationship.... kalau dah puas try and kau pun rase in the long run tak boleh gie.... then its time to say goodbye lah.... jangan dok still hanging on to it.. just because you're reaching the end of your target age..... kalau dah kawin... lagi lah sedih kalau baru nak realise... salah orang sebenarnye....

Tapi yang sebaiknye... mintak tolong pada Allah.... like I said, Allah Maha mengetahui.... jom kite bertawakal ramai2....solat hajat, istigharah..... Nak mandi bunga pun bagus jugak.... menbersihkan soul..... pastu insyallah akan ade yang tertarik dengan soul kite...

OKlah nak tidur...
Good Night kawan2

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

To my daddy with love on his second birthday of the year.

My father has two birthdays, the actual day he was born 3rd January 1951 and the official date on his Birth Certificate and IC - 3rd of March 1951. Well we usually wish him birthday on both days. It was funny talking to him just now. He is a very funny man and a wonderful father of course.

When I was living at home while I was still in school, I was never allowed to eat in front of the TV. But after I started working, my mum let me I guess because she understood how I need to enter a fictional world to de-stress myself. But even so, I was the only one eating in front of the TV. Everyone else would still eat in the dining room. But now, apparently since both my parents are not working I guess they are finding less things to talk about - they are both eating in front of the TV. And my father is blaming me for spreading my so-called-bad-habits.

I know I have been showered with love and affection and pampered with earthly possessions by my father (even though they were times when he couldn't even afford the things I wanted). But still there were things that he gave and things that he did that money simply can't buy.

I remembered in school, he would help me in anyway that he can to support my projects. Especially with the Debate team. He went to find books on genetics engineering and post it to us, which was the thing that helped us win since the other team only had to rely on the internet (and boast about it - as if the Internet is the one and only reliable source). And until now he is still my grammar and spelling checker.

I love and appreciate his efforts a whole lot. I am spoiled like that. But I guess that is my current problem. I would expect the same support from my boyfriend. Obviously, not all guys would be able to help me in my research the way my dad did and hopefully will always do. How am I suppose to find someone like my father? The one who would put his children's education before his dreams. The one who would still be a member of the PTA even after I am gone from the school just so that he would know my teachers and continue to have the social relationship with them.

He made me feel so special and valued that it is going to be hard for me to find any guy who can match that or even come close to that. He definitely have set the bar really high. My problem is, I will always have high expectations on the guys I'm with. Now, do I need to rethink my options?

Sunday, 1 March 2009

March

Well, the month is here. The month full of birthdays. Mine included. Well, first off let me say no present for everyone, just well wishes and wonderful thoughts.

Amidst my frustration and sort-of-broken-hearted-ness, I went shopping (after stopping at the library first to initially do some work but eventually only to pick T up and check the movies schedule)- And as always, retail therapy HELPS. And cliché as it was, we continued our shopping-spree thirst by watching "Confessions of a Shopaholic". I love the books. And the movie is so much better. Probably because it actually surpasses my expectation.

Well, at the end of it - I got a wonderful bag (the kind that can actually fit many books and my lappy) fantastic dress, crocheted black dress (which by right I already have one back in Malaysia) which I'm using as a warmer on top of my dress. So I'm all dressed up in the library hoping to spend time working with T, but somehow T is nowhere to be found. Apparently at home spending quality time with family.

It's fine I look hot anyway. The weather is looking wonderfully sunny and I hope to see some flowers soon. I LOVE SPRING. Okay people, smile.... I am!!!