Merdeka

Well, This is a trial version. I am currently using Windows Live Writer to write an entry. Just want to check how efficient it is.

I'm liking the photo thingy, by the way this was me at age 3/4. It's my kindergarten picture. Somehow I think I look like Irfan a little. I know Irfan is cuter la but I'm sure there're some resemblance somewhere.

Anyway, Happy Merdeka. I was talking and discussing on a lot of things with Mr. Ed last night on what Merdeka means to us. And he actually accused me of stealing his definition of Merdeka. That is just it, the word carries multiple meanings. To me, it means - freedom, independence, fredom to make my own decisions, do what I want to do, read what I want to read and write what I want to write. Of course the decisions,things done, that would not harm others.

But is Malaysia really celebrating and living up to the word Merdeka? That is a different question, with many answers. To me not all Malaysians are free making their own lives and decisions, there are so many barriers (especially on the course of disability issues). Freedom of speech? Too politicised. So after 51 years of freedom and independence from the British, are Malaysians really free and independent? Not so much I think, only several few. We actually were celebrating last night while playing poker (I won by the way - the last round everyone was betting everything and I won everything) and we still have the Malaysian flag on the mop stick we had while watching Chong Wei's badminton match agaist Lin Dan a couple of weeks ago.

To me it was a great Merdeka day, I woke up having to talk to someone dear and can't help myself from smiling away. Hope you all have a wonderful day too.

And of course Selamat Menyambut bulan Ramadhan yang mulia, and quoting my friend - Semoga bulan Ramadhan ni membawa keberkatan pada kita. I called Aunty Azimah to confirm that we too are fasting tomorrow. So happy fasting people in Manchester.

Efficiency in finding The One

Well, while reading A'a's entry on 'the One', I actually wrote a very long comment - which I got told off for (with full of love and support from her part). So I'm copying and pasting the comment as an entry here with some modifications.

*********

Well, the term 'the one' means I think, wish, hope wholeheartedly that he is 'the one'. Believing in 'the one' means you are willing to open up your heart to be vulnerable, to be everything that you are, wish you are, and the things you are not with 'the one', and hopes that he would feel the same

So comes the term love is blind. It is blind because when you start thinking, wishing, and hoping that this person is in fact 'the one' you let go of your basic criterion that you have put in finding your mate - single, eligable, muslim, within certain age group, etc. So once you've given the title to someone as being 'the one' you couldn't care less all the other necessary ingredients to make a relationship works

So for me being so calculative acknowledging that I indeed have found the one was simply to open up my eyes and heart that the person for me is out there for me to accept him and make him fit my criterion to be my mate. I found the one - It was a magical feeling I felt which I'm sure some of you already know about it in Serendipity. I now realise, that feelings I have has open up my eyes to see more things out there, and thus I found 'the other one', so far he is exceeding all my basic criterion.

This 'other one' person comes in on the 080808 and Try-out entry. Well, my mother would have said I was and am being inefficient for studying for so long (A-Levels, Degree, Actuarial Exams and now MSc) and still with no real love prospect. But I have to defend myself (which I don't think I should even bother), but since it is my personal goal, my 2008 goal to actually be efficient (in my mother's definition of the word) and find a real love prospect. So Good Luck to me. Hopefully in time the vission and goal will come true, with your hope, blessings, prays.

The change of layout

I have been argued to have lost myself to the cold weather. A dear friend of mine Edward Lim was complaining why my blog is so English (I guess he was refering to the outlook of white and blue like winter), and further commented that it was not my usual colourful self. Which I have to agree, I wanted to be cool but to some have become cold instead. So I decided to make my colourful personality shown in my blog. I hope it looks ok to the rest of you. Thank you Edward for your comments.

It's hard being a disabled person

For some of you who know, I have been employed (part time job) as a cleaner in business office buildings near my house. Somehow today I found something to write about.

Currently me and my new roommate both are working in two office buildings; both similar shape but one is a smaller version of another (which is the main building). Both buildings have three storeys (Ground, First, Second) and adequate toilets on each floor - Gents, Ladies and disabled toilets. In the main building, the location of the disabled toilet on the ground floor has been occupied by the janitor's store (cleaners' store). So, basically there are only two disabled toilets in the main building, on the first and second. So for any disabled person needing to use the toilet, from the ground floor he/she need to take the lift to the first/second floor to get to the toilet.

On the other hand, in the smaller building, the disabled toilet on the first floor has been turned into a janitor's store. So basically, both buildings have only four disabled toilets with 6 storeys all together.

Imagine the disabled toilet being the Ladies, and you are a lady having your lady problem, and in need of a toilet ASAP. Somehow you are currently working on the floor where there are no Ladies, you have to either use the lift (if it is fast enough reaching you and if it is in fact working) or run to the stairs to get to the toilet. There is a good chance you would be able to make it in time. *I know the visual image of this may be disturbing but stay with me and try to understand.

But if you are a disabled lady currently working on the floor where there are no disabled toilet and somehow the lift is not working, there is a bigger chance of you not being able to make it in time to reach to the other disabled toilet(s).

That was indeed what happened today, a disabled person needed to use the toilet (the person was on the ground floor of the main building) and the lift has not been working for the past week. I had to witness the pain and aggravation when others tried to help the person up to the first floor.

Yes, when I started my road trip and initiative to study the experiences of disabled person/individuals in Malaysia, I have always had this image of life for a disabled person here in the UK is so much better; I guess today I have proven myself wrong. But still it's not a contest to be right of wrong; it is a necessity that needs to be in place and further social awareness to be raised.

Try-out

I thought it would be a try-out
Turned out I was being tried
Tried hard
And I fell hard

But that is just it
I don't think I want to get out of it
I actually want to get in
Deeper than ever

It's scary I know
But I am willing to face it all
I think I am ready
I believe that I am

And after seven years
Some good and some bad
I found something
Someone
Worth
The try for the whole way.

Dear Uncle Lah

From the NST: RAIL BAD! LRT, Komuter not meeting expectations, says PM

From my friend Peter's letter to Uncle Lah: Warkah buat Pak Lah

I am writing to you to support my friend's letter and to tell you something more obvious that that; why the hell did you choose today to check, experience, acknowledge and complain about the services when the public and people of Klang Valley has been telling you that all along. To top that the fact that the rise in fuel, has obviously increase the number of commuters (you were also responsible for that - the encouragement of using the public transport) it was obvious a lot of change and development very much needed to be in place to support the increase in the number of commuters.

Then come my second argument, we all know (well at least all of us who knows how the economy works) that petrol price will continuously increase until the world runs out of it. So, all the nation's necessary development namely the public transportation system need to be in top position. But you only come to check the services after months of the most taxing oil price hike!! What is that about? Then you have the balls to tell the people to save money and use the public transport. SHITHEAD. You were lucky to board the train after 2 trains has passed, I once actually waited and only able to board after the 8th train and that I have to add was me queuing!

And that is just it. The standard of the public transport is shitty at best, especially the buses. I have yet to see a disabled person with a wheelchair to board one of the Malaysian buses (I'm sure there should be some already tried - especially photographed for the newspaper) but the fact that the condition of the roads from housing areas to the actual bus stops are not wheelchair friendly apparently only baby-prams friendly (hello, baby's weight and adults weight are so not the same - adult pushing a baby in the pram and adult pushing another adult on a wheelchair is not the same okay DUH!!). Besides, wheelchair users should be able to live independently anyway. The society should encourage such actions.

Driving a car to get from one place to another costs so much more than using the public transport. I actually tried using the public transport to get from Putrajaya back home, and calculated that it cost 40% of the cost to drive (petrol, tolls, parking). The timing is actually quite okay (it took me about 1 hour) since if I was driving, the jam would make the journey longer. From Alamanda, I walked to the bus stop (had to cross the road) - the roads were narrow and not wheelchair friendly. Then waited for the bus, the bus with steps and not ramps, then took the ERL (that's okay I think) but still without touch 'n' go facility it is still stupid in my definition. Then I reached KL Sentral and took the LRT Kelana Jaya line home (which is okay but I need to check with Peter is it is in fact wheelchair user friendly). Then my mum picked me up at the station but if not I would have taken the bus home - which again is with steps and not ramps) and then from the bus stop - definitely a death zone! The curb is way up high, (excuse my Malay - kalau naik wheelchair ni memang boleh tersungkur menyembah bumi!!).

So for a disabled person (wheelchair users) to travel from my house to Putrajaya to see you, he/she would need a car (which I have to add it's hard enough for them to find education, employment, AND transport and facilities to obtain all these before they are ABLE to own a car), AND a driver to drive, and to help him/her in and out of the car. And to top that, the disabled person need to belanja the driver lunch lah (since the driver help him already). So in actual fact, disabled person need to be richer (have more money) than any able-person to be able to travel to any destination that he wishes or just actually need - yeah let say you were sick and a wheelchair user wanted to visit you in Putrajaya; seems like that ain't gonna happen!

So in support to my friend's plea - when actually he should not have the option to plea in the first place, I have to say you are running a stupid campaign whatever it is you were trying to prove this morning.

Yours very passionately,

Saya yang memang Ayu ni!!

Prostitution: Is it dehumanising or is it liberating women?

Does making prostitution legal make it right? In many cases, these women has been illegally transported from other parts of the world to be part of the 'sex slave' business.

Please note that, this is my first entry on the topic, I will continuously update the entry with edited date included to make it a proper well rounded article. So I welcome all comments and suggestion on where this article can and might go.

Before we go any further let's venture to what really is prostitution. As usual my initial reference is the Wikipedia: I know I should not rely heavily on it but I guess it is a huge topic, whatever is written in it should be vast and articulated anyway. So here goes;

Prostitution is sexual activity in exchange for money. The legal status of prostitution varies greatly between different countries, from being punishable by death to being completely legal.

The term is also used loosely by some to refer to sexual activities of which they disapprove, such as sexual promiscuity or sex outside marriage. Cultural usage varies widely, and the use of the term as a pejorative indicates acts that are not formally considered prostitution in a cultural context. Male prostitutes that offer their services to females are known as escorts, or gigolos.

Pornographic actors and actresses get paid for having sex, but are not generally referred to as prostitutes. If a woman has sexual intercourse with a man who supports her financially but doesn't live with her, then she is called a mistress, and is again not normally considered a prostitute. If a man has sexual intercourse with a woman who supports him financially but doesn't live with him, then he is called a kept man, and is again not normally considered a rostitute.

In this entry, I would specifically talk about female prostitution since I have been talking about feminism previously. Besides when people say and talk about prostitution, first thing that comes to mind is female prostitution and when people want to talk about male prostitution, the term will then be 'male prostitution' anyway. So prostitution are closely termed for female prostitution.

So here we have the two ends of the kind of perception and punishment on prostitution; (1) being punishable by death on one end and to (2) being completely legal on the other end. So which one of these two ends are actually liberating women and which one is dehumanising women.

Firstly, pro-prostitution would argue that, getting paid for sex is not morally dimeaning for women, it is liberating in the sense that it celebrates the fact that women have sexual needs, and women are in fact sexual beings too just like men. There goes the equality argument in that sense. Then the sex for money part, I guess quoting the famous half Malaysian genius turn prostitute; where she actually explained that the business is fill with intelligent women, able women but somehow there are stigmatisation attached to the industry (that is it in fact a negative industry). I guess what she was trying to say is, it is not an industry filled with women with no education and actually have no choice other than being the product to be consumed, but rather a choice that it is chosen by intelligent women who actually have proper qualification to be other kinds of professionals.

Then, in the interview that I watched on YouTube, there was a message reading; "prostitution is dangerous and can damage your health" at the end. The harshness, lack of assurance, diseases attached to having multiple sexual partners, work conditions are all part of the danger in the industry and profession.

20 August 2008

Then there are the human trafficking, drug abuse related to prostitution.

The international Organisation of Migration (IOM) estimates that some 120,000 women and children are traficcked every year into Western Europe. This is the human reality of the trafficking of women and girls. It's a shocking trade that destroys the lives of the victims. But it's a massive source of revenue for the traffickers, and they have been quick to exploit women in poorer countries. They promise jobs with decent money, a better life, a chance to send money home to feed their families. They deliver a 'career' in the sex industry, where women are virtually enslaved - their passports taken away, their earnings confiscated to 'pay' for their passage. The women may be bought and sold many times. If they are caught, they are often put in prison or sent home, where they will face rejection and shame from their communities.

The trafficking industry seeks to exploit the inequalities existing between the developed and developing worlds, and the basic human desire to make our own situation better. And it's happening all over the world. US government figures suggest that as many as 900,000 people are trafficked across international borders every year. Girls from villages in Nepal and Bangladesh are sold to brothels in India. Young women from the Philippines travel to Japan to work as 'entertainers', but find themselves virtually enslaved by their employers. Mexican girls are taken on dates my wealthy men who promise them new lives in the United States, only to be smuggled in as illegal immigrants and forced to work as prostitute.
(Williams, J; 2004 - Some 120,000 women and girls are trafficked into Western Europe every year).

Quoting my new roomate, "prostitution is not acceptable no matter what the situation or circumstances". And quoting her boyfriend, "prostitution is oppressing to women; for those who have been forced into the business". True, I couldn't agree more with the second statement. Well actually, both the statements compliment each other. The first is trying to say on a whole it is not acceptable, it should not happen whether forced or not - there should not be supply and demand for the industry; the second refers to a huge illness in the world. I watched recently a documentary on human trafficking into being sex slaves here.

24 August 2008

I am currently watching the film "Pretty Woman". Actually one of my favourite love stories. I was actually suppose to be finishing reading my book which I borrowed since March 2008; but I figured it would be a great research for this entry. Yeah, give me anything I'd sure find some reason to watch TV.

Well, it is a bout a little girl's dream of falling in love and being saved by a knight in shining armour (in a limousine) of sort. A prostitute life story of falling in love and being saved my a very rich man. You definitely do not need to be a prostitute to want to dream of being saved my a very rich man and having it coming true, but the story is about that. It is about someone who people think the least off and actually having their dreams coming true and to fall in love and being inlove. It is an ambitious movie; empowering women in many ways - it's about having hope and believing in faith.

But that is just it, everyone wants to be saved from something. In a way this story is to tell that even though Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) is a good kind of prostitute (who doesn't do drugs, knows the need to save money, responsible in a way that she knows she needs money to pay for bills and rent, impose safe-sex, etc); she still wants to be saved because somehow she dreams of something more, something magical out of the fairytale - something much much better than being a prostitute; a woman's need to be respected, the need to be valued, a sense of worth.

My personal conclusion from this movie - prostitution is dehumanising women; on many occasions it has proven that the career as a prostitute is less respected (that's probably an understatement), less valued.

31 August 2008

After having a long discussion with myself (in my head), I came to a conclusion that this industry stays alive and still full in participation from all corners of life, to satisfy desperation. Like the article from a famous website - What drives men; sex, money and power. Well this business runs to satisfy at the very least two out of the three items. We always think that we are lacking any one of these drivers when the opportunity arises to supply the extra components of these drivers - we become desperate to get all the extra components, when actually at some point we don't really need them.

In the case of the half-Malaysian-genius-turn-prostitute, she acknowledge the fact that she come into the industry after realising she needed money and someone proposes the idea to her. Yes desperate for money, you sell sex. Just like the famous high-class prostitute who died in a controversial position; she too came into the industry after having someone proposing to her the prospect of the industry when she was in need of cash (or was it extra cash?).

So basically, as long as men are alive this industry will live; unless there's a substitute for sex which is better and cheaper than sex, this industry ain't going anywhere.

I am still in the midst of collecting info and reading materials on the topic, if you find any please leave a comment for me to add continuously in this entry. Thank you very much in advance.

NEW WORLD RECORD

I just witnessed the best race in the world. The fastest man on earth - USAIN BOLT. What a race, what a confidence, what a determination. 9.69 seconds for the 100m race. Fantastic, I was screaming as though I was there in the stadium. I understand why the stadium is full packed. It was definitely the race everyone should see. And he's only 21 years old going on 22 in a few days time (by the way he shares the same birthday as Aa and Nayo). He was simply fantastic. It is definitely THE moment for Beijing Olympic 2008.

20 August 2008
And again today, on the eve of his birthday, he broke yet another world record for 200m, in 19.30 seconds. Then the whole stadium sang Happy Birthday. One man who brought the world together. It was beautiful.

We are the champion

Dedicated to Lee Chong Wei for the fantastic win in the Badminton Semifinals - Olympic 2008 Beijing. All the best on getting the FIRST GOLD for MALAYSIA!! Malaysia Boleh.

I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it
I thank you all

But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
And I ain't gonna lose

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world

A dream boat

I don't understand why people call a great guy a dream boat. But nevertheless today, for some reason I myself do not understand, I would like to dedicate this entry to a great guy I know. He is what people call a dream boat. This is not an advertisement (fantastic singles or whatever), but my acknowledgement and appreciation of him being in my life.

We knew each other since late 2001, so it has been a very long time. He is without a doubt one of the sweetest guy I've ever known, and actually the sweetest guy that I have had actual romantic relationship with. Oh yes one other crucial point, my parents actually would love to have him as my husband. But they have come around to realise that it's not gonna happen.

He gave me the best Valentine's Day ever. Every year on valentine's day I would think of him and every year when ever I got a Valentine's day wish from him, a huge smile would come to my face.

And the reason I am writing was I didn't mention him as being a huge part of my life before, but he was. He was there when I needed him the most. He was there when no one else was. And on top of all, I care for him very much. All this time, even though we're not still together I still do care for him and wish him all the best in life.

Mr. Wonderful, Hassan Al Banna thank you very much for everything. Take Care my dear, you are well in my thoughts.

What I am trying to say it actually the fact that in the past I was trusting and eager to please. It was actually easier to give my heart to someone I just know (barely know actually). And thank god, he actually took a very good care of it. But now, it is very hard for me to open up and give people a chance. The scepticism is eating me and I don't think its good for me or the world.

But now, I have become more cynical and pessimistic about the true hearts of people around me. I always thought there are always conspiracies or people out there to get me. But the fact is, nobody is actually purposefully intended to hurt anyone let alone me. What would people actually get to purposely harm me? I mean break my heart la. That is just it, things just happen; and if people get hurt along the way, too bad - so move on already.

So I guess in my quest to find love and well new love, I need to remind myself of how great it was when I was with this dream boat of mine. I opened up my heart and he was great to me. He was one in a million. He reminded me that I can trust people, even those I barely know. I need to let go and feel the pain and of course the joy. Being too careful by choosing only those who satisfy my "criteria of a perfect man" list which by the way I have 67 criterion is not going to guarantee my true happiness. That is not going to guarantee my route to Heaven. So love is about taking risks. I am ready to take some serious risks. Wish me luck. Hopefully I can find another dream boat or in actual, give someone a chance to be my dream boat.

My Rights and Responsibilities as a Malaysian Child: UNICEF

Produced by: Inter-agency committee on programme for the development and well-being of children

1. All children have the right to a name of their own
2. I have the right to be with adults who love me. They can anyone like mummy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, auntie or uncle. It is my responsibility to be respectful and be caring towards my guardians.
3. I have the right to collect information and materials from all sources to help me develop and be protected. It is my responsibility to get the information and skills needed to protect myself by asking for help.
4. I have the right to be protected by adults from any harm. It is my responsibility to take care of myself and seek help from my family, teachers and other adults to stop being harmed.
5. I have the right to education. It is my responsibility to go to school.
6. Nobody is allowed to hit me or make fun of me. It is my responsibility not to hit or make fun of my friends and other kids too.
7. I have the right to get help when I am not feeling well. It is my responsibility to tell and adult and get help if I'm sick or hurt.
8. I have the right to say what I think and express my own views freely. It is my responsibility to ask or say what I think politely and be considerate with the feelings of others around me.
9. I have the right to play and participate in cultural and artistic activities. It is my responsibility to respect others.
10. My body belongs to me. I have the right to say "No" to touches I do not like. It is my responsibility to tell an adult about the touches I do not like. To keep telling until someone helps me.
11. I have the right to live in a safe and peaceful environment. It is my responsibility to respect other races, religions and languages, by being friendly and helpful to everyone.
    

Coolness

I was reading Bash's blog and found this very cool thing;

You type <"ur name + needs"> in Google, and collect a few sentences that you feel fit you.
Example, I typed <"Ayu needs"> and obtained these statements.

1. Ayu needs to rethink of who to get her inspiration from (I don't know why I chose this sentence, I don't think I actually have a proper one man inspiration type - Guess now I should?)
   
2. Ayu needs to take a chill pill (This is cool because that's what I've been doing for the past 2 weeks, taking chill pills)
   
3. Ayu needs someone tall to compensate for her height (This is seriously TRUE)
   
4. Ayu needs to look older (hemm interesting, which means I look young - Thank you)
   
5. Ayu needs to start releasing quality music again (Interesting statement since we just had our karaoke session - which was cool by the way. It was not RedBox or KTV Karaoke, it was YouTube Karaoke)
   

Then I type <"Azlina needs"> and got these statements.

1. Azlina needs a man to teach her how to talk sensibly. She rambles because she is trying hard to go against the nature. She pretends a lot. (Hemm, I am beginning to think there might be some truth in this? Or am I just crazy to be doing this?)

I seriously need to start doing my work.

080808

I was greeted in the morning by a message
A message especially for me from someone
from someone I love
A good news I was happy to hear
I was glad to be there
for her
for she needed it so much

Then in a weird dreamy like move
I'm suddenly in a relationship
With someone I barely know
But deep down inside
I am in love
In love with someone else

I waited for that someone for many months
then suddenly a few weeks ago
he said not now
maybe in seven years
I said I can't wait that long
It broke my heart
for I have fallen in love

The last time I was in love was seven years ago
and it took me 3 years to get over him
I told him I can't wait that long
it broke my heart
for I have fallen in love

I don't know what got into me
to say yes to the new relationship
What was I thinking?
I was already broken hearted
for being inlove with someone else

Now realising all of this
on this so-called auspicious day
I don't know what to make sense
I am lost
lost in my thoughts
What am I suppose to do?
I'm inlove with someone else

Then I realise today should be a good day
A day to make start something new
I realise saying yes might not be a bad thing
after all
Maybe it's a new hope
A new dream
A new courage
to fall inlove again.

Autumn's here

Of all the seasons in the Four Seasons Region in the world, I hate Autumn the most.I actually only hate Autumn, the rest I like but winter, I would only appreciate it when there's snow without snow I don't see the point of the season. Autumn is the most depressing season. It's raining everyday and there's no sun. I bought lots of Sun Tan Lotion for enjoy the summer sun. Man. I want some sun. Give me sun. I want to lay outside and read my books. I enjoyed that very much. I want more sun.

I WANT THE SUN. I WANT SUMMER.

I am a feminist

I am a feminist. Have been for a very long time now. The only difference is, now I actually know where I stand. What kind of feminist am I.

I guess to many, Feminism is a big word. Feminism holds several movements and ideologists, not one can actually fully capture the beliefs and fights the battle of another.

The four main feminist traditions

Feminism /Issues	Liberal Feminism	Cultural Feminism	Radical Feminism	Socialist Feminism
Cause of sexism and oppression	Socialisation and gender conditioning, irrational prejudice	Devaluation of feminine qualities, overvaluation of masculine values and patriarchy	Male domination, patriarchy, men’s control over women’s bodies	Multiple oppressions based on gender, class, race distinctions; male domination embedded in economic institutions
Goal	Individual freedom, dignity, autonomy, self-fulfilment and equality	Revaluation of women’s strengths. Infusion of society with values based on cooperation	Transformed gender relationships, women’s culture, sexual and procreative self-determination	Transformed social and gender relationships and institutions
Solutions	Reforms, equal opportunity, legislation of rights, education, rational argument	Women’s discovery of internal truths, identification and relationships with other women, ‘feminisation’ of culture	Formation of autonomous women’s communities; separatism; celebration of women’s achievements. Culture and spirituality	Restructuring of education, work, parenting, economic structures, and sexuality (reproductive freedom) in order to eliminate male domination and other oppressions
Key issues	Educational reform, affirmative action, reproductive rights	Non-violence, pacifism, ethics based on relationship values	Violence against women through birth technology, rape, battering, war, sterilization, intimate relationships and pornography	Race/class/gender interactions, feminisation of poverty, comparable worth issues, maternity/paternity leave
Methods	Legislation of equal rights under the law, legislation that breaks up power structures, creation of gender-neutral policies	Protective legislation for women (e.g. maternity leaves), organised peace efforts, cooperation with other women	Collective action, antiviolence organising, expression of anger through writing and creative expression, activist, centred outside of traditional political structures	Collective action; elimination of public-private distinctions (e.g. wages for housework); redistribution of resources so adequate schools, work, and childcare are available to all

Source: Enns (1992) Extracted from An Introduction to counselling

To me personally, I consider myself as part Radical and part Liberal Feminist. (1) I am against sexually objectifying women. (2) I am against the killing/murdering and abortion of female babies. I am for, equal pay and (3) equal domestic work.

(1) Sexually objectifying women - especially true in the advertisement and television. Seriously obvious by the difference of the limitedness of 'covered-skin' between female and male presenters/models/actors. The fact that sex sells does not help reduce the amount of sexual harassment that has been going on for many years unreported. It affects women's psychological development tremendously. It has become a huge pile of grey areas when before the existence of television and other entertainment, there were only two types of clothing; proper (adequately covered and suitable to the occasion) and improper (showing too much skin and not suitable for the occasion). But now it seems like it's okay, acceptable and considered appropriate to go to work or arrest criminals while showing off a little cleavage (especially true for the CSIs on telly)!. In the future do you think it's going to get any easier to teach our children how to dress? I have been wearing 'tudung' or hijab for more than ten years now and I am myself still confuse. Have I been dressing up in ways that are actually sexually objectifying myself? I am still finding the line between true and false because I know its there somewhere.

That's one about dress code. What about communications - discussions, statements, or body language that screams sexual innuendoes proudly on billboards, television, radio, newspapers/magazines and yes of course the internet. That is just it, I do not know myself without having any dirty jokes. I'm sure a lot of you know me well enough to say that I am at times seriously perverted. What have I been subjecting myself to? That is a lot of psychological development on my part. And again where is the line between okay and not-okay communications which includes parts of sexual expressions or juicy steamy stories? I have been living my life knowing that part of communications are okay, but in these okayness lie certain parts of the sexually objectifying of women - and I have been playing a part in putting it out to the world. What have I been doing that is not what I feel. I need to learn where the line really quick.

(2) A former president of the Indian Medical Association, estimated that 2 million sex-selective abortions are performed in India every year. Aid agencies believe that dowry is directly linked to the issue of female infanticide. One writer reported signs in the Indian state of Haryana reading: 'Make your choice - spend a few hundred rupees now [on aborting a female foetus] and save a few hundred thousand rupees later [in dowries].' (Williams, J (2007) - China has 44 million missing women)

I too have been mentioning some facts of domestic violence and honour crimes (Domestic Violence and Forced Marriages) that ended up with deaths of many female children. These crimes and violence do happens to male too, still you can't rub off the fact that female suffers more on this issue than male.

(3) It's an age-old question: who works harder, men or women? The female homemaker/male provider stereotype is long gone; both now spend hours at the workplace. But is the gender divide in domestic matters really a thing of the past? According to counselling service Relate, "The most common cause if housework arguments is the amount men do." When women go out into the labour market, men scarcely increase their share of the domestic work. And so, because men have not taken over responsibility for domestic work, women's overall working time (paid and unpaid) gets longer and longer. (The Guardian Weekend - February 10, 2001: Give us this day)

Forget inequality in the workplace for a moment, and turn your sights indoors. For a new generation of married women, tending to the home and children had become a second full-time job. So where are the men? (The Guardian Weekend - April 9, 2005: When did you last see your husband?)

Research suggest that men spend an average of 28 minutes a day on domestic work compared with women's 177 minutes, but both genders spend more time than they used to alone with their children of all ages. If a mother dies and has to be replaced, what would she cost? Legal & General reckons the average mother's unwaged work would cost more than £200 a week to replace.
(The Guardian Weekend - February 10, 2001: Give us this day)

Basically to be my life partner someone needs to understand how strongly I feel about these issues; especially about the equal domestic work part. That is a very important part. I was blessed to have lived in a household where my father a wonderful man that he is, helps around the house. He would wash dishes, wash laundry, iron laundry, clean (vacuum and mop) the whole house, and he also would cook (when we were younger, now not so much since I'm old enough to cook for him if my mum is not available).

Gender roles and understanding what it means to individuals are important recipes to a happy marriage. If one has been brought up to know and expect certain roles to be played by his/her spouse in a marriage and are not being delivered, frictions are going to occur.

Feminist issues are not just for women to fight for - alone, the issues need to be understood and rationalise by both men and women. Working together to bring harmony and peace to the world.

(4) I am not a feminist - which some take as someone might think a feminist is one who is against polygamy, I am in fact for polygamy (I am against adulteries). Therefore in that sense I am not that kind of feminist.

I have mentioned before in one of my entries - Interesting Statistics that there are more men than women. Well, even so the number of male who are categorise as persons with disability (mentally, physically, sight, etc) are more than female, the number of males who have undergone sex-change operation are more than female, the number of heterosexual male are less than heterosexual female. The list goes on. Thus to find a single eligible heterosexual male with a great source of income to marry me is like finding treasure. I do hope in the future if the opportunity ever presents itself, I would take the high road and let my husband marry another.

P/S - I believe explanation and further exploration on equal pay deserves a separate entry.